"And then while your girl goes to the ladies', you go out front to smoke a cigarette..."

"... and on the way back you ask your waitress — the one with the tattoo of the meat cleaver on her grass-fed bicep — if she wants to g...

"I will totally break my diet to try this.... Laughing is healthy & burns calories!"

"I can't wait to see all the jokes about Schweddy Balls." Oddly, this strikes me as the squarest thing I've read in month...

"Are You Sexually Fit? Lifestyle Changes for Better Sex."

Oh, good lord, this presentation of sex as a component of a healthy lifestyle is just so completely and annoyingly unsexy. Your Homework fo...

Caught in a rainstorm, ducking into a small-town libraray, I read the Utne Reader yesterday.

I used to subscribe back in the 80s, when I loved it. But what is it now? I found the cover pretty amusing: I can't find a bigger pictu...

"This. is. the. best. thing. in. the. known. universe! Excuse me while I roll around on the floor as if I were Ann-Margret and this post were baked beans."

Ha. And: